Schemer
From Trollpedia, the free encyclopedia
A schemer (/ˈskiː.mər/; also temshchik, intrigant, or informally the guy) is an individual who is permanently three moves ahead of everyone in the room and at least two moves ahead of himself.[citation needed] Native to group chats, backrooms, and the timeline, the schemer does not chase the trade. He arranges for the trade to walk over to him on its own.[2]
While often mistaken for a strategist, the schemer differs in one respect: the strategist wants to win, whereas the schemer wants you to find out later. The behaviour is documented across most human gatherings and every liquid market. There is no known cure.[4]
Etymology
The word derives from scheme, itself from the Greek skhema, meaning “a plan you were not shown.” The Russian equivalent, temshchik, comes from tema (“the topic,” but also “the angle”). Both point to the same person: the one in the chat who says little and screenshots everything.[7]
Behaviour
A schemer is calm during a crash and nervous during a pump, because a pump means everyone else has noticed. He speaks in the future tense. He owns the group chat but has never sent the first message. Asked what he is up to, the schemer replies “nothing,” which is the one thing he is never doing.
In markets, the schemer is early, quiet, and already out by the time the article is written about how early he was.
Field identification
The schemer can be recognised by the following field marks:
- Replies “interesting” and does not elaborate.
- Was in before it was a thing, has receipts, will not show them.
- Has a plan. Has a plan for when the plan fails. That second plan is the real one.
- Smiles like the portrait above at all times, including now.
Notable schemes
Historical schemes attributed to the schemer are, by definition, difficult to confirm, since a scheme that was noticed was never a scheme. What follows is therefore incomplete.[9]
| Year | Scheme | Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| c. 1500 | Selling the bridge twice | Both buyers thanked him |
| 2013 | Bought the trollface, told no one | Pending |
| 2026 | Launched $SCHEMER, called it a joke | You are reading it |
See also
External links
The schemer maintains no website, only a presence.
